Saddle shopping IS THE WORST

*cue every rider who has ever purchased a saddle groaning in co-misery.

Step 1 - Realize you've just smacked your horse for biting you while tacking up. Realize it's not infrequent.

Step 2 - Whisper "F*** me" and pull off the saddle pad to evaluate saddle fit.

Step 3 - Not so quietly repeat, "F*** me" and pat said horse and apologize. Said horse is NOT placated.

Step 4 - Beg and borrow your barnmates' saddles (with their permission) to see if there's a simple solution.

Step 5 - Lock on to one potential solution and set up all the ebay and Facebook searches for this one saddle that might work.

Step 6 - Because hell, you're nothing if not thorough, you post on COTH to get opinions.

Step 7 - e-Mail the saddle fitter who commented on your post. Squeal in excitement when you realize she's right around the corner.

Step 8 - Cross your fingers.

Step 9 - Throw a mental temper tantrum when she notes that your horse reeeeallly needs to go in a hoop tree. And neither of your current saddles fit. At all. And neither do your barnmates'.

Step 10 - Ask about the price of the hoop tree saddle you just rode in.

Step 11 - Seriously consider putting your kidney up on the market.

Step 12 - Plunge into internet, ebay, Facebook, and all the other searches for this one divine saddle, used. Do this for days on end.

Step 13 - Weep. No such saddle exists.

Step 14 - Tara! I'll go home to Tara! ---just kidding. This isn't Gone with the Wind. You call the original saddle fitter you purchased your first saddle from.

Step 15 - You weep for joy. They are so happy to help.

Step 16 - Engage in long and exhaustive (as in thorough) e-mail exchange with said fitter.

Step 17 - Sigh a huge sigh of relief. There is hope.

Step 18 - With new list of saddles to look for, you create new web, ebay and Facebook searches.

Step 19 - Send out tracings and pictures to all the saddle companies your fitter recommends.

Step 20. Wait.

Step 21. Watch the hours go by without responses. Silently curse the addict's need for immediacy.

Step 22. SO MUCH WAITING. A;ADOIOF NAOIWE NPGIF AGIOF NPOG (head banging on keyboard)


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