1st Mini-Trials of the Season!
Well, well, well.
We did it. The Red Mare and I completed our first mini of the season and came home with a number not a letter (however, RedMare did have several letters for me, which, coincidentally enough, include A F B M C H E K X and "F*#& YOU").
Exhibit: Dressage Test
Shall I recap?
Sure. See Dassah trailers with Joey (whom she only sees during the winter very infrequently and then maybe once a month during the summer when we ride along with BFF AC and her gelding Joey) and when we first started trailering to shows, she figured the sanest and safest animal around was the boy she rode in with and by golly, no one was going to separate them.
Except me. I separate them when I take her to her dressage test. And let me tell you, that dressage test has NO business being on her agenda. Dressage is to Dassah what retail fashion is to Miranda (Devil Wears Prada). And in that vein, I am to Dassah in a dressage test what Andrea (lowly assistant) is to Miranda before she figures out fashion. A big ol' sack of no-good-idiot-on-two-legs-mess.
So for the two years now that we've been going around Ohio to events, Joey has been her beloved-of-all-time hero-savior-on-four-legs. Whom she sees about one weekend a month. To tear her away from Joey is to unforgivable - so for one weekend a month, I'm a monster. Then as soon as we get home and off the trailer, I'm back in her good graces. THAT SAID, she loves her some stadium and xc and those are finnnnnnne to be forced from Joey's side to do.
So, as you saw in the video, Dassah has very little use for me and my dressage notions.
(we head out of arena after courtesy circle)
Dassah: What a moronic waste of my time. This is POINTLESS.
Me: If we do this, we can go jump.
Dassah: Interesting tidbit of info....very interesting indeed.
Me: Ok, trot down centerline.
Dassah: Well, if we must do this (grabs bit).....OUT OF MY WAY FOOL!
Me: Excuse me, I'm up here and as your rider.....
Dassah: I have GOT THIS.
Me: How about a nice 20 meter circle
Dassah: How about a 20 meter of ZOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Me: Um. I hate to bother you but could we, I dunno, relax a bit?
Dassah: Relaxing is for LOSERS. Imma make this fastest test ever.
Me: What? NO! NOT FASTEST
Dassah: NEROOOOM, NERROOOM, NERRRROOOOOOOOOOOM
Me: You are NOT a race car!
Dassah: SHUT UP. I need to focus.
Me: But we need to turn
Dassah: Nah, exit is that-a-way, I can almoossst reach it.
Me: We need to turn. Not done yet.
Dassah: FINE, hold on, I guess I'll bank this.
Me: I'm afraid to ask but I need a second canter transition.
Dassah: No worries, I have GOT THIS.
Me: You said that earlier and we zoomed.
Dassah: Duh.
Me: (suffers whiplash when we finally transition to walk)
Dassah: I was SO zoomy! Did you see how zoomy?
Me: (lightheaded from zoomies)
Dassah: (during free walk) I was so zoomy and so fast and look at me NAIL this free-walk. (we did score a 7.5 on it, but I think that's because the judge was impressed Dassah even had a walk).
Me: I'm just going to gather up the reins a bit...
Dassah: YES. MOR ZOOMIES!!!!
Me: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Please NO MORE ZOOMIES!
Dassah: (whispers) zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. corner turn. zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. and halt.
Me: (Wipes bugs off teeth and out of eyes). Um. Thanks?
And that's how you do dressage in Hadassah-Land.
We did it. The Red Mare and I completed our first mini of the season and came home with a number not a letter (however, RedMare did have several letters for me, which, coincidentally enough, include A F B M C H E K X and "F*#& YOU").
Exhibit: Dressage Test
Shall I recap?
Sure. See Dassah trailers with Joey (whom she only sees during the winter very infrequently and then maybe once a month during the summer when we ride along with BFF AC and her gelding Joey) and when we first started trailering to shows, she figured the sanest and safest animal around was the boy she rode in with and by golly, no one was going to separate them.
Except me. I separate them when I take her to her dressage test. And let me tell you, that dressage test has NO business being on her agenda. Dressage is to Dassah what retail fashion is to Miranda (Devil Wears Prada). And in that vein, I am to Dassah in a dressage test what Andrea (lowly assistant) is to Miranda before she figures out fashion. A big ol' sack of no-good-idiot-on-two-legs-mess.
So for the two years now that we've been going around Ohio to events, Joey has been her beloved-of-all-time hero-savior-on-four-legs. Whom she sees about one weekend a month. To tear her away from Joey is to unforgivable - so for one weekend a month, I'm a monster. Then as soon as we get home and off the trailer, I'm back in her good graces. THAT SAID, she loves her some stadium and xc and those are finnnnnnne to be forced from Joey's side to do.
So, as you saw in the video, Dassah has very little use for me and my dressage notions.
(we head out of arena after courtesy circle)
Dassah: What a moronic waste of my time. This is POINTLESS.
Me: If we do this, we can go jump.
Dassah: Interesting tidbit of info....very interesting indeed.
Me: Ok, trot down centerline.
Dassah: Well, if we must do this (grabs bit).....OUT OF MY WAY FOOL!
Me: Excuse me, I'm up here and as your rider.....
Dassah: I have GOT THIS.
Me: How about a nice 20 meter circle
Dassah: How about a 20 meter of ZOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Me: Um. I hate to bother you but could we, I dunno, relax a bit?
Dassah: Relaxing is for LOSERS. Imma make this fastest test ever.
Me: What? NO! NOT FASTEST
Dassah: NEROOOOM, NERROOOM, NERRRROOOOOOOOOOOM
Me: You are NOT a race car!
Dassah: SHUT UP. I need to focus.
Me: But we need to turn
Dassah: Nah, exit is that-a-way, I can almoossst reach it.
Me: We need to turn. Not done yet.
Dassah: FINE, hold on, I guess I'll bank this.
Me: I'm afraid to ask but I need a second canter transition.
Dassah: No worries, I have GOT THIS.
Me: You said that earlier and we zoomed.
Dassah: Duh.
Me: (suffers whiplash when we finally transition to walk)
Dassah: I was SO zoomy! Did you see how zoomy?
Me: (lightheaded from zoomies)
Dassah: (during free walk) I was so zoomy and so fast and look at me NAIL this free-walk. (we did score a 7.5 on it, but I think that's because the judge was impressed Dassah even had a walk).
Me: I'm just going to gather up the reins a bit...
Dassah: YES. MOR ZOOMIES!!!!
Me: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Please NO MORE ZOOMIES!
Dassah: (whispers) zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. corner turn. zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. and halt.
Me: (Wipes bugs off teeth and out of eyes). Um. Thanks?
And that's how you do dressage in Hadassah-Land.
Lolol I love the back and forth banter ;) congrats!!!
ReplyDeleteMan, google is the worst at notifying me of comments! Thanks and thanks! She's so fun.
DeleteYay for ending on a number!
ReplyDeleteJust seeing this now - thank you!!
Delete