Now what?

Dudes.

honestly. 

I think I've misplaced my equestrian mojo.

I actually stayed home from XC Rolex this year to landscape the yard.

seriously. 

For reals. I stayed home from the once-a-year pinnacle of eventing in the US competition that is only HOURS away....that my husband ENJOYS!

And I can't say that I missed it too much.

shudder. 

It was gorgeous out and we beautified our lawn - I think it was very much worth it.

You see, I didn't need to shop for anything, Mary King wasn't riding (although Sinead was and I have so longed to see her ride), and my weekends have been and will be booked solid with school, Crew games, graduation, etc.

I also haven't been riding.

Last ride out mare put on major displeased show: Get.off, get off NOW! No I will not move my hindquarters, I forget how to do that. NO! What's that, touch my girth area? You want bit? FINE! Dare you to (insert doing anything)! Contact? Lalalalalalalalalalalala. Look, I'm a giraffe, no, a llama! Trotting means zooming! How about my new trick where everytime you add leg, I kick out or buck! Weeeeeee! 

I can handle spring zoomies. I can handle mare heats. I can't handle MissEffYouRIGHTNow.

That being said (which is my favorite go-to transition line) - I think we're dealing with ulcers.

I think we've always been dealing with some level of ulcers but I've always chocked it up to RedMare syndrome. She's always been on a probiotic and for the last several month has been on G.U.T. It's not enough though. She's lost a ton of weight, is getting great quality hay and feed, and combined with the proclivity for kicking/bucking/irritability, I think it's ulcers. (It could be teeth as she's 6mos overdue, it could be spring zoomies, it could be saddle fit (but I've checked!), it could be low magnesium, high sugar levels, a hair in her eye, itchy shedding skin, barn sourness, mare-bond with adjacent stall-mate, etc. But let's just rule out ulcers at this point - I do not want to be disciplining an animal in pain).


So I did my research, I'm not shelling out the big bucks for Omeprazole. I'm going the pumpkin seed/oat flour/cabbage flour route. I'd do pectin and lecithin as they've been shown to be very effective (per a study done on racehorses/googled) but LunaTunes has a very well written (albeit font overloaded) site dedicated to ulcers. I've read studies, DVM sites, COTH, and researched my brains out with supplement information.

I'm going to keep her on the G.U.T but add the pumpkin seeds/oat flour/cabbage powder as they can't hurt and it's cheap. I'm also going to give her some peppermint TUMS before I ride tonight to see if they make a difference. It could be stomach ulcers, it could be hind-gut ulcers. I just hope that's it. I hate feeling defeated and down and that makes me not want to go to the barn to get my butt kicked (not literally).

I also need a jump instructor. I have something on the back burner but have to wait. I hate waiting.

Waiting makes me feel like a novice. Which I am. But I'm an achiever and waiting means I'm not achieving. and I don't like that. So I'm not achieving anything, which means I'm STILL a novice, which means AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH.

*bangs head on desk.

Off to WholeFoods for my sprouted pumpkin seeds.