blerg

My brain and body have taken over. They are saying it's time to stay inside, stay warm, and wait this winter out.

10 things going on in my life right now (10 because well... I have to rein myself in sometimes and whoa this turned into a book and I'm sorry that blogger won't let me get some white space in-between the bullets)

1. Applied for a major promotion-esque position at work. It's the boss of my position. He left in early October and they just got around to posting the position last week. Anyway, I'm exactly the right fit for the job. And it's the right fit for me. I know, don't get hopes up, keep eggs in basket, yada yada... but seriously, it's a really great match-up. And I wrote a kick-ass cover letter that impressed even the hubs (who will tell it to ya straight). 
2. Work has been crazy without our manager. There was a week where I went home every night with a migraine. Combine that with the winter and my brain is begging for mercy. 
3. Dassah gave the barn owner/manager a scare this weekend. She wasn't acting like herself (normal = eating everything in sight, mare-glaring, manipulative treat-mongering) so I got a call Saturday and of course my heart dropped. Ran out and she was super sweet and lovey. ???? Who is this horse? She wasn't in distress and had been pooping. She just didn't want to eat very much (although she scarfed down a candy cane). We looked her over and decided keeping an eye on her was appropriate. That evening she was back to eating and making faces at the gelding across the aisle. 
4. I'm learning to be grateful. I'm learning that happiness only comes from being thankful, that peace only comes from changing my perspective and giving thanks for the now. Be it the smooth crystal of the ice on the sidewalk, the sun glinting off the snow, the rare bird-chirp on my way to work, or the taste of chocolate, the touch of soft doggie ears, and the purr of my kitty. 
5. I'm also trying to train myself to stop judging. It's a defense mechanism from years of self-loathing, pining to be accepted, hating my situation, and feeling judged. I'm extremely critical of people because if I judge them first, then I can tell myself their judgement of me won't hurt (even though it will). It's a terrible trauma to keep cycling over every moment and while I've gone a long way in forgiving myself and those around me, I revert to it when I'm not paying attention. So I have to practice #4 all the time and literally tell myself when I feel like I'm heading that direction, "SARAH, DON'T JUDGE! STOP IT" and sometimes I will go "lalalalalalalalalalala" in my head to get me through that moment. 
6. Frank and Oliver have declared a tentative cease-fire. We're not quite to a peace-accord just yet but giant strides in resolving territorial issues have been made. Oliver has learned not to play with Frank like he's a toy, Frank has learned that a couple swipes to Oliver's face sends a message. As it stands, Frank has slowly desensitized Oliver to him sitting on our laps (Frank, not the 100lb fur-monster), sleeping on our bed (which hasn't happened in a year!!), and drinking out of Oliver's bowl. If you ever wanted to watch natural desensitization, come to my house. For example, Frank first slowly worked on entering the bedroom, stopping when Oliver noticed and walked over. Kitty did this all by his self over several weeks. Then he jumped on the bed. As soon as he did that the first time, Oliver ran over and Frank ran out. During one night, I think he did this 30 times (ask me how I know). Last week and a half, Frank's been sleeping on our bed and Oliver hasn't moved off his bed. My new book, "Lessons from the Cat" will be on shelves soon. 
1. Happy kitty snoozing on the bed

Oliver desperately wishing he could be like kitty. 



7. Winter weather sucks but I do appreciate it. I'm tired. I'm grateful for a period of time to rest. Isn't that what winter is, a time to rest? Doesn't the whole natural world take a break right now? I used to think that winter meant just death but I'm seeing it differently this year. For me it's a time to take a break and rest. 
8. I bought a saddle. Off eBay. I know, I know! I know how bad that is. However, it was a Passier Nicole Grand-Gilbert dressage saddle, for $299. I had ridden Dassah in Sweet K's GG over the summer and was flabbergasted at how well it fit.  I made hubs swear if it turned out to be a broken-treed piece of junk, all would be ok. Got it in, leder-balsamed the hell out of it, and (gently) threw it on Dassah. Fits like a dream. Fits better than my Thorowgood saddle (that I used a saddle-fitter for). Apparently those Passier's trees are flexible and accommodating. 
9. I also bought composite stirrups, wintec leathers, and a SmartPak girth. All waiting to be used, once the weather outside feels higher than 25F. Really interested to see how the stirrups fare. Purchased them from Riding Warehouse so if they don't, I can send them back. Also, how great is RW?! Really starting to like them. 
10. Lands' End winter coats are the jam. I had a down parka that I loved for a couple years and then came home to find Oliver's artistic adaptation rendered it useless. He shredded a sleeve and clouds of down were floating around the mudroom. So this winter I needed a new one. Got  it and love it. http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-tulip-hem-down-coat/id_274228. 

So that's what's up.